Alexander’s of Hilton Head: Don’t Bother

The only pretense that Alexander’s of Hilton Head Island has of being a fine dining restaurant is its overly inflated prices and white table clothes. Everything else about it screamed banal. I was so disappointed in this experience that I have to vent my spleen bashing them. To be slightly fair, I don’t know if the fault lies with the restaurant or with the concierge at the Hilton Resort who sent me there with the promise of a delectable experience. Obviously, the word “fine” is relative.

To start with, the place was loud and decorated with motorcycles, boats, and stuffed fish. The waiters were dressed in jeans and Izod shirts. I had the pleasure of being placed along the route the staff took from the kitchen to the back of the long restaurant. At one point a waiter with a three-foot square plastic container filled with glasses waddled perilously close. Another waiter came zooming by with a two-foot stack of plates. The best however was the large group of teenagers in baggy clothing that filled up my tiny alley waiting to be taking into a thankfully distant room. This harried feeling was magnified by my waitress. Her brief visits were punctuated by rapid-fire dialogue in which my empty plates were persistently ignored.

Dinner consisted of a decent salad of bagged field greens, croutons, and one fourth of a tomato. It came with two dressing options, a creamy Parmesan or a vinaigrette. There was good sourdough on the table with spreadable butter. My entrée was a filet Oscar for $38.00 complete with crabmeat, hollandaise sauce, and green beans, carrots, squash, and a tropical flower. It normally came with potatoes, but I asked them to hold those and they brought out extra veggies instead, which was fine with me. The filet was cooked as I ordered it and was tender. I had never had a filet Oscar before and don’t know if I would order it again. The hollandaise overpowered the crab but was a nice addition to the veggies on the side.

Alexander’s stylizes itself as a restaurant for wine lovers. If you enjoy a particular wine, its associated liquor store will sell it to you. I was disappointed with the selection by the glass however, and the waitress brought out my wine in one of those glass measures and dumped it into my glass at the table. I hate those measuring cups. Restaurants that use them either do not trust their bartenders or they are stingy. When I order wine, I want to imagine that I am special and that my evident taste and refinement causes the management such paroxysms of joy that they give me an extra ounce. Actually seeing the bottle from which the wine is poured is an added benefit that happens far to infrequently.

Overall, Alexander’s is way over priced and very limited in its menu. I was much better off at Crazy Crab, which stylized itself as what it was, a touristy spot that served mountains of seafood at relatively reasonable prices.